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Hi, it’s me Doom and I am back.

Mom gave me a plastic bag to play in today but I am just not up to it.  I tried to play in it for a while but it is hard to breathe and I am very tired.  I don’t have an appetite so I have not eaten in a few days.  Mom is taking me back to the vets now.

We are here at the vet’s.  Mom is holding me close and talking softly to me.  I want to check things out for a minute so she puts me down so I can smell around.  I can hear the vet lady coming.

She tells mom the tests are back and that I have something called FIP.  She says I can’t get any better, ever.  I am very tired and I don’t want to feel sick anymore.  Mom is holding me now.  She says I am not going to suffer anymore.  I am going to go to sleep,  and then I will be in a new place and I will be well again. 

Mom can’t come with me right now but she says I will see her again. 

“Doom”,  mom whispers,  “there will be lots of tissues and you can have all you want,  there will be lots of things for you to explore and new adventures for you to.  Mommy and Cody love you very, very much, you are the best kitty in the world.  We love you Doom,  now go to sleep baby.”  She kisses me and gives me a hug.

Please don’t be sad for me everyone.  I know saying goodbye is never easy but remember, I had a wonderful life and many amazing adventures.  Mom and my boy Cody, rescued me from the shelter and gave me a great home and lots of love. No kitten could of asked for more. I hope that my mom goes and rescues another kitty just like she did me. That will be the luckiest kitty in the world. My mom and Cody have a lot of love to give. I know they gave it all to me.

I don’t like feeling sick and I miss getting into trouble.  I love you all and I will think of you as I eat my tissue.  I hope they are ready for me where I am going,  because Doom The Destroyer is on his way,  and I am ready for action.

Goodbye everyone, and thanks for the love. I’m going to close my eyes now and I will see you in your dreams.

Love forever and always,

Doom The Destroyer

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Hi, it’s me Doom and I am back.

I was sitting in the living room looking out the front window, and then the bedroom window,  when I started wondering what outside was actually like.  Not the outside out front, that is way too noisy and there are just too many cars and trucks going by.  The outside from mom’s room looks a bit better and I can see some birds, but the outside in the back of the house looks great and I can see the squirrels!

There are lots of trees and a really big deck and so many leaves blowing around but it’s the squirrels that I am concerned about.  They are on my property, running around on my deck, my grass and in my trees.  I think they are teasing me.  I am Doom The Destroyer and I can’t let that happen.   My only problem is,  how do I get outside?  Now, mom opens the sliding door when it gets warmer outside and I am hoping it’s warm now, it sure feels it from the other windows.  Here she comes now and yes,  she is opening the door.  I better play it cool though.  I will walk away and pretend not to care.

I think I have waited long enough now to make my great escape.  It looks easy enough, I will just slide this screen open and out I go.  I will just shove this over with my paw and, well now, that’s not a good sign.  It’s not moving, I think its stuck.  It’s not going to be as easy as I thought.  Looks like I will be doing this bit by bit, inch by inch. 

First things first,  I need to see how much this will move.  I will just stick my paw in the crack and push a bit.  It moved a tiny bit which means I am going to need some force and something bigger than my paw to get this open. 

My head,  I will use my head.  I will just stick my nose in this crack and push really hard.  It moved,  not a whole lot but it still moved.  If I just keep this up,  and my face holds out this might actually work.  Just a few more shoves and yes,  it moved again.  Now I have enough room to fit my paw through, then my head and body and I am so getting me a squirrel. 

I am out!  What the heck?  Mom just caught me and I was so close.  I had 2 whole paws on the deck.  I was so excited I forgot to check on mom first.  She is now closing the screen and blocking it.  Maybe it is just as well,  I am not feeling that great and I am a bit tired.  I think I will save the Great Escape for another day and just go bug mom in the living room a while,  wait I can hear her calling me.

“Doom, come here sweetie, I have something for you”, she yelled from the other room. 

Normally I would wait a minute or two but I was a bit curious so off I go.  What is that on the floor?  It’s a container with something inside. What is that smell?  It smells funny but I can’t seem to stop sniffing it.  I feel all tingly and a bit silly.  I need to investigate this a bit closer.  Time to tip this thing over and check it out close up.  One little swat is all it should take. 

There I have some out,  it sure smells good whatever it is.   It feels kind of crunchy under my paw.  I think I need to dump this all out and get a really close look.  One more swat should do the trick.  I was wrong, I am feeling kind of lightheaded and that tingly feeling is getting stronger.  I am trying to flip this container but I can’t seem to get it,  I just keep pushing it around the floor, concentrate Doom.  Finally,  I flipped it and it’s all over the floor.  Now for a closer look, and some paws on investigating. 

I give it a few sniffs, boy that smelled good.  I shoved it around with my paws.  What was this stuff?  Why can’t I stop smelling it?  Why is mom laughing at me? 

“Doom, are you enjoying the catnip?”, she asked.

So this was catnip.  I have heard a lot of things about this stuff.  It is supposed to make kitties all crazy.  That’s fine for normal kitties but I am Doom, The Destroyer and nothing controls me.  I was so wrong.  The rest is kind of a blur.  I remember lying down to get closer to it, to investigate.  Then something came over me,  I had to roll in this wonderful stuff.  I tried to stop myself but it was no use.  The nip had me and I wanted, no I needed more.  I reached for the container and pulled it towards me but it was empty.  Then I was rolling again.  I could not get close enough.  I wanted it in my fur, between my toes I wanted to bath in this wonderful stuff.  I couldn’t of stopped even if I wanted to, but I didn’t want to.  I was covered in catnip from the tip of my nose to the end of my tail.  I was swimming in it and having a great time.

Suddenly, I was dizzy and not feeling so well.  I think I might of overdone it.  My mom called my boy to come and watch me being all silly.  My boy laughed at me and then started to clean up the catnip.  No, it’s mine, mine.

I swatted his hand and he laughed a bit more.  The race was on.  I needed to hide some before it was too late, but where?  The carpet, I would hide it under the carpet.  It works for my q-tips and this is a lot smaller.  Now to lift it a bit and start shoving.  Here comes that dizzy feeling again.  I have to be quick my boy already has half the container full.  Maybe if I shove it over again it will distract him.   That did the trick,  just a few more shoves and mission accomplished.  I would of tried for a bit more but I am just not feeling up to it.   Mom took me to the doctors the other day because I am not feeling well and they gave me medicine.  I am not hungry anymore and I get tired fast.  I think I am going to go take a nap. 

Viva La Tissue!

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Hi,  It’s me Doom and I’m back.

My last plan didn’t get me any tissue but it sure was fun.  I waited for mom to get home, hoping to get my reward but when she came in the house and looked at the floor she just started to laugh, she thought it was funny. 

“Well I see that you have been busy Doom.  I guess you thought the room needed a bit of redecorating”, she said.

Where was the “look”, the wagging finger and the “voice” ?   Then mom picked me up and gave me a big kiss and hug,  she put me down, sat on the floor and started putting the paper back in my box.  I don’t think so mom.  I was all over that.  I jumped in the box,  flipped it over and started pushing it back out.  I didn’t spend hours doing this to have it end so quickly.  Well,  soon mom and I were tossing paper around.  She would dump it on my head and I would jump out and try to get her hand.  Mom was laughing so hard my boy heard her and he came to join in the fun.  Soon there was paper flying everywhere and I was attacking anything that moved, mostly my boys hand.  It was great.  I didn’t get any tissue but that’s okay for now.  I am already working on a new plan.

I have to be honest,  I was a bit confused,  that sure was not the reaction I was looking for or expected.  I am Doom The Destroyer! not Doom The Comedian and mom was not done with me,  the day was about to get stranger. 

“Doom, come here sweetie”,  I heard mom calling me from the kitchen. 

Of course I didn’t go right away.  I am after all a kitty not a dog.  So I waited a few minutes. 

“Doom, come here Doom”, she called again. 

Okay,  I’m not a dog but I am a kitty and a curious one so off i trotted. 

She was standing beside the fridge with a cup in her hand.  Then she pushed the thingy on the door and it made a funny noise.  The cup filled with something.  Mom reached in tossed one on the floor.  I gave it a sniff but it had no smell.  Since mom was right her I decided to give it a swat, if it tried anything funny mom would protect me.  I lifted my paw and gave it a good whack.  Wow, that was pawsome,  it flew across the floor so fast and I was off after it.  This stuff was great but a little cold.  I turned and looked at mom. 

“Mew”,  I asked her,  what was this stuff?   ”Well, I see that you like ice cubes Doom”,  mom said. 

So this was an ice cube.  Mom pushed the button on the fridge again and tossed me another one and off I flew.  Then I went back to get the first one and it was gone!  What was going on here?  It was just here a minute ago.  I walked over and stuck my nose close to the ground and sniffed.   I know,  I know,  it doesn’t have a smell but I had to try.  Did that mouse come back and steal my ice cube?  I started to search the floor when I stepped in some water and it was cold.  Now how did that get there?  Well,  I will look for it later,  I will just go play with the other one.  Off I went and can you believe it,  It was gone to.  Something was fishy here and it wasn’t my food.  I looked over at mom and gave her a long mew.  Mom pushed the button and tossed me another cube.  I was going to keep my eye on this one.  I gave it a good swat and off I went again.  These things can really go far on a ceramic floor.  Back and forth I went,  this was really fun.  I reached down to give it another good swat and it was gone.  It just disappeared!  These ice cubes sure were sneaky.  Here one minute,  gone the next.  I looked and looked for it but I had no luck.  All I found was another puddle of cold water on the floor.  I  had a new adversary and it was great at hide and seek.  Don’t worry ice cube,  I am Doom, Kitty Detective and this is not over.  I will figure out your secret.

I was getting a bit tired and decided to go lie down for a while.  I looked up at mom and she was smiling.  Does she know where the ice cube is?   Is she playing with my little kitty mind? 

I think she did know where the ice cube was hiding and I think she was playing tricks on me.  Well, two can play that game so before I went for my nap I decided to play a trick on her and I knew just what it would be.  I trotted off to the bathroom as fast as my kitty feet would take me.  A quick glance over my shoulder to check that mom was not going to follow me.  Nope, she was getting herself a tea.  Purrfect,  I had time to put this plan in action.  It really was quite simple. 

Mom loves to take a bath almost every day.  And I keep all my toys in the bathtub ( I have a great collection) so it’s really funny to watch her take them out one by one.  Have I ever showed you my collection?  I have my big mousy,  a toilet paper roll,  a foil ball,  a long twist tie,  2 little mousses and the bathtub plug.   I keep my q-tips hid someplace else so mom can’t take them away.  Now,  I know what you are thinking.  A plug is not a toy, but this one is really fun, it has a loop on the end so I can pick it up and move it.  When I am playing in the tub I like to roll my foil ball into the drain.  Then I mew, mom comes in,  pulls it out and puts the plug in so it won’t fall down.  I wait until she leaves the room then I reach down, grab the plug and toss it aside.  Of course I immediately trot on over to my foil ball and roll it right back into the drain hole.  I give a loud mew and it starts all over.  It’s fun.

Anyway,  I think it’s time to play hide the plug on mom.  She is clearly helping the ice cube so I will help the plug.  But first there was something I always wanted to do and now seems like as good a time as any.  I am going to see what is making all that noise in the white thing in the corner.  I hop up on it and look inside.  It’s water, it’s full of water.  Is this where the ice cube was hiding?  I gave it a sniff but there was no smell,  I touched it with my paw and it was cold.  Well since I am here I might as well have a drink.  Not bad, not bad at all.  Now to grab the plug and sneak on out of here. 

I peaked out into the kitchen but mom had gone.  The coast was clear.  I grabbed the plug and made a run for it.  I planned on putting it under the bed in the spare room, it was the closest and she would not see me.  Mission accomplished.  Now I am off for a nap.  It has been a busy day. 

Viva La Tissue!

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Hi, it’s me Doom and I am back. 

Well,  my plan to throw mom off has worked.  She is no longer following me around or checking on me every 5 minutes.  That’s a big relief because I can’t cause any really good trouble in a minute or two.  Destroying is an art and it takes time to get it just right.  I have spent a lot of time on this next plan and I am very proud of it.  However,  it can’t be done quickly,  so I have been waiting patiently and today is the big day,  mom is going out.   I have kicked it up another notch because I am still tissue-less and mom needs to know I mean business.  I think I’ve got the perfect plan this time.  It can’t fail.  I can’t wait to get my plan underway  and as soon as that front door closes I will pounce into action.  I can almost taste the tissues now. 

The beauty of this plan is that it involves some of my favorite things.  When mom brought me home from that place with all the other kittens,  they put me in this really cool box.  It had holes you could poke your nose or paw out of and it was filled with lots of paper.  I didn’t stay in it long though , because my boy took me out so I could snuggle and sit on his lap, but it was still a fun box, especially all that shredded paper. 

My mom kept the box and put it in the closet.  I have been going in the closet and mewing for a few days now,  trying to let her know I wanted to play with it, and today she took it out and put it in the living room.  My plan was coming together.  I decided to play it cool,  first I sniffed the box,  then I jumped in to check things out.  I  sat inside it for a few minutes just sniffing around,  then whenever mom looked over tried to I look all bored.  I don’t want her suspecting anything so I used my  “sleepy eyes” on her.  You know the look,  you yawn, stretch then give the droopy I can barely keep my eyes open look.    Let me tell you,  I looked so tired I’m sure she thought I was going to fall over pass out right then.  I could barely sit still  I was so excited, but, I settled down and waited for her to leave.  I hoped I  didn’t have to wait long.

She is getting ready now,  first the shoes, now the coat. I am just laying around in my box looking all sleepy.  A quick rub on the head, a kiss, and off she goes.  Doom The Destroyer is back in action.

With stage one complete it was time to move onto stage two.

First things first,  I can’t do much while the box is like this,  I need it on its side.  Let me stretch out a bit on this side and lean over,  and a bit more leaning and thump we are over.   Great, now I need to get all the paper from the inside to the outside. Well it’s not going to move itself so it’s time to start shoving some paper, but this sure would be easier if the lid hadn’t closed.  There sure is a lot of paper in here and it’s kind of dark.  Be brave Doom you’re on a mission.

This is very strange,  I’m trying to shove all this paper under the lid one paw full  at a time.  It’s working fine as I shove the paper out but for some reason when I pull my paw back I still have the paper.  At this rate it will take me all day.  I need a new strategy.  I think I need to do this from the outside and reach in.  That way I can actually get the paper out of the box and moved aside.  I am such a brilliant kitty.

I’m out!  I better get my furry little butt moving though.  Let’s see if this new plan works any better.  I am going to reach in, oh I can feel all the paper,  now to pull my paw out.  Wow, that worked great!  Hold up,  Mousy, what are you doing here?  Did you come to help?  I’m not sure how much you can actually do but I would love the company.  I will pull the paper out of the box and you start moving it around.  We need to leave a big mess for mom. 

Okay,  I think I have most of it out.  What’s that Mousy?  No,  I can’t play now I’m really busy and Doom The Destroyer cannot be distracted.  Well maybe for a minute or two.  No, no I can’t.  I need to get this done if I am ever going to get my tissues back.   What did you just say?  What’s so great about tissue?  Well, it’s only the yummiest and most fun thing on the planet and besides the tissues are trapped and need to be rescued and set free.  I know because they call to me.  What do you know anyway?  You’re a stuffed mouse with one ear.  I can’t talk to you anymore I have some decorating to do.

This pile goes over here, this one goes over there, maybe I should put a few under the couch.  I just need a bit more, let me check to make sure I got it all out of the box.  Nope, there is still some in there,  looks like I am going back in to get the last of it out.  Well, that’s the last of it.  On to stage three.

I don’t think moving these one at a time is the best way to go.  Let me sit and think a minute.  What’s the easiest way to get the most mess scattered around with the least effort?  And no,  I’m not lazy,  I am conserving energy and doing my part to save the planet,  as I have explained in the past.  Oh,  I have it,  I know what to do and once again it’s brilliant. Let me just get over by the door so I get a good running start.  And, off I go,  “catabunga”  right into the pile.  Now I understand why people jump into piles of leaves,  it’s darn fun. and this is both fun and effective.  You should see this stuff fly.  Okay , let’s try that again only this time I’m going to put on the brakes and slide into it.  Not only will I get great coverage but it will be a ton of fun too. 

The place looks pawsome,  and the floor looks like a Tornado or worse,  like Doom The Destroyer hit it.  There are still a few big pieces of paper though,  just give me a second to shred them up and voila,  I am done.  It’s a work of art and I am so proud of myself.  It really was a lot of work but totally worth it.  Mom has got to give in now and just give me my tissue back.  How can she not?  This is going to take her a long time to clean up. 

Now, this kitty needs to lie down for a few minutes because I am  exhausted. I will keep you posted.

Viva La Tissue!

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Hi,  It’s me Doom and I’m back. 

I have been up all night planning my next mission.  I was casing out the house while mom slept.  I can’t believe she hasn’t given me my tissue back,  but she did threaten to send me to her friend Anji in Scotland or to the kids at C.A.R.I.N.G.  Now all I have to do is figure out what a Scotland is.  I have some great things planned  but they will require stealth and timing.  Mom is also watching me more closely so I need a diversion to throw her off for a while.  She can’t stop “Doom The Destroyer” but she sure can delay him a while.

Let’s see what to do, what to do?  Oh, I know I think I am just going to hop up here on my kitty condo.  Mom bought this for me awhile ago, to be honest I don’t play in it much, but that’s because she brought home this really cool box the next day!  It has a front and a back entrance, how could I resist?  I love my box,  it’s so comfy and fun and not too big.  It doesn’t weight much so I can move it around and even walk when I am inside.  Can’t do that with a kitty condo.  Did I mention it tastes good too?  Well, this is going to really throw her off and make her happy.  And a happy mom is a distracted mom.

Hmmm,  this is more comfortable than I remember.  I could get used to this.  What’s that on the floor?  Mousy!  So that’s where you’ve been hiding.  I have not seen you for days.  How did you get over there?  But you are all the way down there and I am all the way up here on the second floor of my condo.  I have not slept all night and I really don’t want to get down.  I wonder if I can reach you from here,  let me just stretch out,  just a little further, almost got it.  Wow, this is tiring I need to rest a minute. 

Ok,  I got my second wind.  If I stretch really far I can just reach it with my paw.  There I have it,  well I am touching it.  Now to pull it closer, this sure is harder than I thought it would be.  How the heck am I going to get it close enough to grab with my teeth?  Well I guess I’m going to have to put it in reverse.  This should be interesting since I have never done reverse before.   Well I have it under my paw, now to back up.  Slowly, slowly I don’t want to lose it when I’m this close.  Great it’s now at the bottom of my condo. 

I really didn’t think this one through before I started.   You would think after all I have been through in my short life I would know better.  You know that saying “look before you leap”?  well they need one that says “think before you move”, because if I knew it was going to get this complicated and require so much effort I would of left Mousy on the floor.  If he wanted up here he could of done it on his own.  Well, now that I have started,  I might as well finish, but next time I will take a few minutes and ask myself,  Is it really worth it?

So, Mousy is at the bottom of the condo and he is staring at me with those beady little eyes and his one ear.  We were playing a while ago and he got a  bit rough, well the next thing I know he has one less ear (it ended up in my mouth) but he was asking for it,  I swear!  and anyway  he started it.  Let me see if I can hook him with my nails and pull him up.  Nope, of course it’s never easy.  Time to stretch again and grab him with my teeth, he better appreciate this.  Down I go,  boy I am so very tired,  stretching, stretching and got him by the tail. 

Wait a minute how the heck am I going to get back up?  Wonder if I can  push myself up backwards and hold on to him at the same time?  But,  if its between me having to get down or dropping him,  well it won’t be the first time Mousy has been dropped on his head and it sure won’t be the last.   Here it goes.  Well, this isn’t so bad.  If I take it slow, one paw at a time and hold on with my back claws it just might work.  I’m halfway there,  boy I could sure use a nap,  snap out of it Doom, concentrate you’re almost there.  Victory, Mousy is in da house!  I am so proud of myself and I did it without having to get down.  Yeah me,  I don’t want to brag but, that was some fine moves on my part.  Don’t get me wrong it’s not that I am lazy I was just conserving energy.  I hear mom say that all the time to my boy.  We have to conserve energy it’s better for the planet.  So I was just doing my part.

Well darn and double darn,  I got so excited I dropped him.  After all that work.  Let me mew and see if mom will toss him up.  Hey where did she go?  I didn’t even see her leave.  Well there is only one thing left to do.  Sleep.   Sorry Mousy you are on your own.  This kitty needs a nap but Doom The Destroyer will be back and ready to start his mission.

Viva La Tissue!

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Hi,  it’s me Doom and I’m back from my nap.  Well actually it turned into more of a sleep, but I’m wide awake and ready to continue my reign of terror.  As I said earlier,  I am going to act up and cause as much trouble as I can until mom gives me back my tissues.  I am going to show her who is boss and she will learn not to mess with Doom The Destroyer!

For those who missed it,  yesterday I stole mom’s bran buds (they were purrfect) and I had a long swim in a big bag of kitty litter.  It ended up all over the floor and I made quite a mess,  but not enough it seems.  I am still tissue-less.  Looks like I have to step it up one more notch,  and I know just where to begin.  The bathroom.

Now I have always had a weakness for q-tips.  I discovered them shortly after mom took my tissues away and can never get enough.  They are fun to toss around, they fit nicely under any rug, they are light and easy to carry,  and they come with not just one, but two ends to chew on.   Mom loves her q-tips and keeps them in a jar with a lid so I can’t “help myself”.  Well have I got news for her.  I’m getting me some q-tips, I don’t know how many I will take,  it could be one or it could be them all.   So hold on to your fur, I’m going in.

My plan is pretty simple.  I am going to sit in the bathtub looking all cute and cuddly while mom does her usual morning thing.  I will bring in my mouse to play with and be a good kitty.  Mom usually takes a few minutes to brush and wash up then she will leave.  If I don’t act suspicious she won’t even give me a second thought.  Once she is gone I should have plenty of time to get what I came for. 

Ok, mom is gone, but before I go any further I am going to quietly have a look and make sure she is really gone.  That mom is a sly one and she is really quite.  I swear she is part cat.  Nope, she is really gone.  Let’s begin.

First things first,  I need to get on top of the bathroom counter.  Usually I jump from the bathtub rim,  because mom has a rug hanging on it and I don’t slide.  Our floors are all ceramic and very slippery, which normally I love but it’s not really practical when you’re planning a heist.  Today I am feeling adventurous and a little daring so I am going to jump from the floor.  One, two, three, jump.  Ok that wasn’t so bad,  I could of done without the falling in the sink part but no harm done.  Note to self, countertops are also very slippery right after mom wipes them,  so next time I should just wait a while until I start my missions.  Mom’s,  they are always cleaning something.

Ok, back to the heist.  I see the cup and it’s pesky top.  It has outsmarted me for the last time.  I have a plan and it can’t fail.  I am going to call this “Mission Pawsible”.  I approach the cup filled with the q-tips, reach out my paw and give it a nudge,  then another and another until I nudge it right off the counter and onto the floor.   Hey,  I never said it was a complicated plan !  Now before you all panic, I pushed it onto the rug so that it wouldn’t make any noise or break.  And voila, one cup, less the lid, filled with those wonderful q-tips.  You know they really are the purrrfect cat toy.  And you can get a lot of them in your mouth at once and still run away without tripping or having them slow you down.   Now I need to get the cup over to the door,  so I have a bit more nudging to do. 

This next part I have to do very slowly.  I don’t want the cup to be rolling around so I need to stick my paw in and stand the cup up.  These ceramic floors are really hard and anything that rolls on them, especially plastic is going to be very loud.   If I don’t do this just right, mom and probably half the neighborhood will hear the cup rolling across the bathroom floor.  

I take a deep breath,  slide my paw inside the cup,  apply a little pressure and carefully lift.   Presto, one standing cup.   Now to enjoy the fruits of my labor.  I think my best plan of action is to move as many of these to hiding places as I can before I am discovered.   And I know just where to put them.  I love throw rugs and our house is full of them. 

Hmmm,  that’s odd my face used to fit right inside this cup,  now only my nose and mouth do.  Ok, this growing thing is really starting to cramp my style.  Well this is going to slow me down just a bit.  I can’t grab more than two at a time and even two is a challenge.  Grab, run, hide, return, repeat.  At this rate I will be able to get them all and have q-tips for weeks. 

Then disaster struck,  I got over excited and tipped the cup,  which of course went rolling across the floor (loudly) and crashing into the door frame, which is metal, which made an even louder noise.  I ran over as quick as I could and tried to stuff them back into the cup.  I tried to lift it up but that just made it roll around even more.  It was over,  I could hear mom coming.  So I did what any smart kitty would do.  I grabbed one last q-tip and ran out of there as fast as my four paws could carry me. 

As luck would have it she went left while I went right and she never saw me.  Now, I know what you are thinking.  I am in this to cause trouble,  so why run away?  That’s easy  the name’s  “Doom the Destroyer”  not  “Doom The Dummy”,  I will let her cool off just a bit before I show my furry face.  Better safe than sorry and I can only take so much of the “voice”. 

I managed to get quite a few stashed away so I consider this a success.  And I left a mess which is also a bonus.  Do you think I am starting to wear her down?  Well I am off to nap for now.  Viva La Tissue!

Now you can your own Doom t-shirt right from the Misadventures Of Doom Blog.  Click the picture below to go to the product page.

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Well it had been weeks and weeks and mom still wouldn’t let me near a tissue.  I had decided to take matters into my own paws.  I was going to get into so much trouble that she would be begging me to take the Kleenex  just to settle down.  It was brilliant, I was pawsitive it would work,  I was without a doubt , the smartest kitty in the world and she would learn  not to mess with “Doom The Destroyer”. 

Grab some nip and let me tell you all about my “brilliant” plan.

I decided to begin my mischief with something easy because I didn’t want to tip my paw too soon.  I decided to go for her bran buds cereal, hey a guy has got to stay regular right?.  She eats it every morning and it looks yummy.  As usual she got her cereal and took it to her desk.  Then she went to get her tea.  I jumped up on the desk and dove right in.  I have to tell you it was really good.  Crunchy and a bit sweet, and I got some great mouthfuls before she came into the room.  I just kept eating and pretended I didn’t see her.  Then she used the “voice” and shooed me away.  (Have I mentioned how much I hate that word “shoo”).  I jumped off the desk walked around her chair and jumped right back up.  I got one more good mouthful before she used that other “voice” then I ran off.  If she used the voice for that then my plan could not fail.  I had not yet begun to rebel!

What to do next?  the possibilities were endless.  I had to be smart though.  Wherever I went I would need time to do whatever it was I was going to do before she caught me.  The best plan would be to go into the rooms she came out of.   I had to stop and pat myself on the back.  Cute and clever, what more could you ask for?  Next stop the kitchen.

Since mom was just starting her tea and bran buds, I knew I had some time.  I walked into the kitchen and looked around for something to get in to.  Then I saw them, the bags, two big bags in front of my eyes,  and they had been there all this time, why had I never noticed before?  Kitty litter!  Heaps of it.  Now all I had to do was  figure out what that funny looking thing on the top was,  and how I was going to get  it off.   

I tried grabbing it with my teeth,  then kicking it off  with my back paws but nothing happened.  I grabbed onto  it again and was ready to give it a really good yank,  but I slipped and fell off the bag!  Aha!  my plan worked, the clip fell off too.  That was a lot easier than I thought it would be.

I opened the top and took a nice long sniff.  It was heaven.  I stuck my head in and touched the sweet soft litter.   I could take it no longer.  I jumped in and started rolling around. 

Before I knew it litter was flying out of the bag and all over the floor.  This was wonderful,  and it had been a long time since I had a good swim in my litter.  Whenever mom cleans and changes the litter she stands there after.  She knows me too well.  And once you “go” in it you can’t really  swim in it anymore.  I was taking as many laps as I could.  I wonder if I keep digging will I hit the bottom ? or China ?  I was having so much fun.  

After a few more laps I thought I should pack it in,  why push my luck?  I  had left a really big mess, my job here was done,  so  I jumped out of the bag and started to walk away.  Of course I bumped into mom coming into the kitchen.  It was time for me to exit stage left and go to my hiding spot just for a few minutes. 

I ran for the couch and dove under.   Wait, that’s not pawsible!  My front is under but my back end isn’t following.  How could this happen?  I tried again and just managed to get under.  I am sure she heard my nails scratching on the floor.  I needed a new hiding space.  I was too big to get under the couch, at least get under it quickly,  and what if I can’t get out ?!?   I clawed my way out and turned to plan B,  I dove under the bed. 

Now I waited wondering what she was going to do when she found my mess.  I didn’t have to wait long.  I could here her in the kitchen.  I could hear my name.  Was she calling me?   I don’t think that was it,  in any case there was no way I was going anywhere near her just yet.  I could hear her sweeping and decided to take a little nap before I continued my terror.   I will keep you posted. 

Viva La Tissue!!

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It started out like any other day.  I woke up and made my to check my food bowl.  I knew something was different the minute I stepped into the kitchen.  My fur stood up and I was tingly all over,  this had never happened to me before.  I decided to call it my “Kitty Radar” and my radar was going off.

I didn’t know exactly what was wrong so I decided to stop and sit a minute.  No reason to just jump into these things, sometimes it’s better to think things through and get a plan together.  I listened from the doorway but I didn’t hear anything.  I took a sniff of the air hoping that would give me a clue, still nothing.  My kitty radar was still going off , I needed to investigate but I needed a plan.  Finally I did what any smart kitty would do,  I turned around and ran to get my mom.

Mom was still sleeping so I jumped up on the bed and pounced on her.  When she didn’t wake up I gave her a little swat, then another and all she did was roll over.  We were going to have to do this the hard way.  I turned on the purr and crawled up for a snuggle.  I gave mom a nuzzle and a lick and then I bit her chin.  I took off as soon as she yelled.  (Hey, I may be brave but I’m not stupid. )  Now mom was up and coming down the hall,  I headed for the kitchen and she followed.  I ran into the kitchen and those same feelings all came back.  My kitty radar was working overtime.   What was it?  I had to know.

Mom came into the kitchen scooped me up, used the voice on me and the wagging finger.  I swatted the finger a few times, she gave me a kiss and put me down.  Now that I had backup I was ready to  investigate.  I decided to have a little breakfast before I started so that I would have plenty of energy.

With a full tummy I began to search the kitchen.  Using my cat stealth I began to check under the fridge, stove, dishwasher and even the rugs.  Then I heard something near my food.  I was getting so nervous  I started to get goose bumps? or is that kitty bumps?  Well whatever they are called I was one uptight kitty.  I considered going for a nap but darn it all whatever it was it was near my food,  MY FOOD!  I was going in.  I looked around the corner but I didn’t see anything.  There it was again!  What was making that sound?  Using all my courage I ran towards my bowl.  There was nothing there.  Was I hearing things?  Had I lost my little kitty mind? 

I decided that it was not my imagination.  I would just sit here and wait.  Whatever it was had to move sooner or later.  So I settled in and waited but I didn’t have to wait long.  There was that noise again and now that I was closer I knew what it was.  I also knew where the noise was  coming from.  Something was eating my kitty food!  I would recognize that crunch anywhere and that something was under the pantry.  I stuck my nose under to take a sniff.  I had never smelt that before.  I stuck my paw under and I heard the “something” move.  I decided the best action would be to meow and really loud.  That would get mom’s attention.  Hey, it cant hurt to have backup.  I let out a really long and loud mewwwwwwwwww. 

It was then that I realized I was alone.  Mom had left the kitchen and turned out the light.  There was only one thing left to do.  I was out of there as fast as my little paws would carry me.  I needed to find mom and let her know we had a monster in the kitchen and it was eating my food!  

I found mom in the living room sitting at her desk.  I ran up and mewed.  She leaned over and gave me a pet.  I tried again only longer and louder.  She scooped me up to put me on her lap.  I jumped down moved out of reach and mewed again.  I looked toward the kitchen.  Didn’t she understand?  We had a monster in the kitchen and it was eating my dinner.  “Follow me mom”, I mewed and ran towards the kitchen.  She didn’t follow me.  She didn’t understand.  I needed a new plan.

I had nothing, so I did the only other thing I could think of.  I sat in front of the pantry and waited.  Eventually mom will notice I am missing and come looking for me.  I could not risk the monster getting away.  Luckily it didn’t take very long.  Mom came in the kitchen and almost tripped over me.  She turned on the light to find me staring at the pantry.   She asked me what I was doing and I opened my mouth to tell her but nothing came out.  I heard the noise again! but so did mom.  I went around to the back and stuck my paw in.  Mom went around to the other side and took a peek.  She went and got the glow  stick and pointed it behind the pantry. 

A MOUSE! we had a mouse.   It looked just like my toy mouse but this one moved and really fast.  I mewed at mom to  let her know we had a mouse.  She called for my boy from the other room. 

Now,  I was very curious about all this but I had a problem,   the mouse moved,  and I don’t like things that move.  I like my prey dead or stuffed .  If I want it to move I give it a swat with my paw.   This was all new to me,  I was excited that we had a mouse  but nervous that it was a live mouse. 

My boy came into the kitchen and looked behind the pantry.  He got very excited.    He had a plan to catch the mouse.  I was not so sure about that.   I decided to just sit in front of the pantry and wait.  My boy took one side of the pantry and mom took the other.   They moved the pantry and all heck broke loose!

The mouse ran out from under the pantry,  only he did it from the front.  I came face to face with Mr. Mouse and I froze.  He was so fast.  Then in a blur he ran over my boys foot  (he screamed so loud I jumped) and I was off.   My kitty reflexes kicked in I had no control.  I was chasing the mouse.  He headed for the heating vent and was gone.  It was over so quick all you could see was his tail disappearing.  How could he fit down there?  I pounced on the vent a second to late.  The mouse was gone. 

I will be honest,  I was a bit relieved.  It was exciting and it was really funny to hear my boy scream,  and so loud.  I didn’t feel so bad about my reactions after that.   Then it dawned on me,  that  mouse would be back,  he wanted my food.   I would have to stake out the vent and make sure the mouse stayed away. 

Luckily for me mom came to my rescue.  She moved my food onto the center island.  Now unless that mouse had wings or could jump 4 feet my food was safe for now.    I liked the mouse,  I just didn’t want it eating my food.  I could sleep tonight but I would only kitty nap.  To be honest I was not sure if  he could fly.  So I would keep checking just in case.

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After my last few failed attempts at tissue heists I have decided to take a little break.  I thought I would share with you some fun games I play with mom and my boy.

The first one I like to play first thing in the morning when I am ready to get up.  Mom calls this “Get back here mister”  I call it “Run, kitty, run”.  It is really quite simple. 

Items you will need

1    Sleeping furless family member (moms work really well)

2     An escape route

3     A good place to hide

Okay let’s begin.  So you have been up for a while and you are bored.  You want some company and some food.  Go into the bedroom of the furless in question.  For this I will use my mom because my boy can sleep through anything.  Just replace “mom” with your furless.

Jump up on the bed while mewing and keep mewing while you crawl up the bed and onto mom.  Get really close, close enough that she can feel you breathing on her and smell your breath.  Continue to mew until she starts to pet you.   Now start to purr really, really  loud  and snuggle close.  Eventually she will give you a kiss and a nuzzle (moms always do).  When she gets close open your mouth and chomp (lightly) on her chin, let go and run to the end of the bed.  Mew loud but make sure to stay out of reach.  Look sad and mew again.  She will think you are sorry and after a minute you can crawl back up.  Repeat the actions again, only this time I suggest you run, kitty, run.   Don’t look back, trust me she is coming. You will hear her yelling “Get back here mister”, thus the game names.

Now, here you have two choices.  Run to your hiding spot and wait. You don’t have to wait long.  She will look for you for a few minutes and then give up.  She will go do her mom things, make her coffee and sit down.  It is now safe for you to come out.  Immediately run over to your food dish and mew.  Hey this game works up an appetite.

If you are like me and you really don’t like to hide you can try this little trick.   Once you run out of the room head for your litter box.  Again do not look back she is coming.  Hop in and pretend to go.  No matter what,  mom is not going to bug you.  Sit there, look busy and take your time.   You know how long they can take.  If we could read I would say read a magazine.  She won’t wait around.  Give it a minute or two and she will start her morning routine.  It is now safe to exit the litter box. Trot on over to your food bowl and give a mew. A kitty has got to eat right? 

I hope you find this game as much fun as I do.  Note:  This should only be played occasionally.  I would not try this on your boy or dad.  Unless of course you want to become the “flying kitty”.  If you feel you must then go for the feet.  It’s not likely your boy or your dad is going to fall for the sad face routine or let you get close enough to chomp on their chin.  Attack the feet or a finger (if they are silly enough to leave one outside the covers serves them right).  DO NOT sit on the feet or you will be airborne.  Remember you have got to be fast or again you will be airborne.

I am not responsible for any injuries you sustain.  Have fun and be fast!

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Needless to say she noticed. Teach me to listen to other people. “Try paper towels” they said. “They are just like tissues” they said. Where are they all now with their advice and suggestions? Where were the warnings that these things never end? One little piece that’s all I wanted. Curl up and let me tell you a sad, sad tale.

I had been speaking to some furiends about my addiction (I am a tissue addict) and one of them suggested I give paper towels a try. I was ready to try anything at this point. After weeks and weeks I was officially desperate. Trust me once you have sucked on an aloe plant or contemplated nibbling on a used tissue you are not very picky. I knew where mom kept the paper towels. How hard could it be? I would have to wait until mom was sleeping. If I played my cards right I would be in and out and nobody would be the wiser. I have seen these paper towels and they don’t look so tough. Nobody is going to notice one missing, right? And then I, Doom, “stealth kitty” “night stalker” “prince of the dark” would have his fix and nobody would ever know. Now to play the waiting game.

I had to play it cool so that I didn’t tip off mom. She seems to sense these things and know when I am planning a heist, so I had to be smart. Now do I try and play with her? Maybe a little game of “Fetch The Mousy”, or do get all in her face with my tried and true “pet me, pay attention to me” routine. Since I didn’t want to wind her up and keep her up all night I chose the snuggle up approach. One quick leap up onto her lap a few well placed mews, toss in a paw lift and finish it off with some sad kitty eyes. It never fails. And now we wait.

It was our bedtime, or so she thought. I trotted off and settled on the bed. Mom came in gave me a rub and turned off the light. I waited for a while to make sure she was sleeping and then I slipped off the bed and out of the room. Soundless as usual. (It’s a cat thing.)

Off to the kitchen I go, and there they were, hovering above me, and so it begins. I jumped up grabbed the roll and it moved a bit. It was just enough to let me get a grip on one . Now to give it a little tug. Just an itsy bitsy teeny weenie tug. I grabbed it by the end and pulled gently. All that did was make a few roll down. I tried again and a few more rolled down. Hmm, I had to think about this. A gentle tug gets it to move a little so a good tug should rip one right off, right? Well, only one way to find out. I grabbed it in my teeth and gave it a quick yank. Well that sure had an effect. It made 5 or 6 roll down. This was not going as I planned. I had been at this for a while now and I still had not had one taste. Ok enough of the kid gloves. I was going for it. One giant tug and it was sure to rip off. I would separate it from the rest, hide the extras and have my taste. I was so excited my fur was tingling. One quick check on mom, yup still sleeping. Here we go.

I got a really good grip on the end. I had decided the best approach was one quick hard yank. Ready, set, yank. It all fell apart so fast I can barely remember it all. It just started rolling and rolling and rolling. How much of this stuff was there? Why wouldn’t it stop? I could only sit there and watch my dreams unravel in front of me. Now, I am no genius but I was pretty sure mom would notice this. I could hide one maybe two, but the whole roll!! Who do I look David Coppurrrrrrrfield ? I had to think. What was I going to do? I sat down and went over my options. That turned out to be my downfall. I fell asleep!! I will say this much, those paper towels sure are comfy.

It’s morning and I can hear mom coming. I was so freaked I just stood there. I tried to look as casual as possible. I put on my cute face, gave her a little mew and waited. She walked away. I was so shocked I still didn’t move. She was back and she had the flasher with her. Flash, flash and then she started. First with “the voice” and then with “the face”. Me-wow the shaking finger. I have not seen that one in a long, long time. I mewed and mewed again. I tried the sad kitty eyes. She was not falling for it. Only one thing left to do. Run, run like the wind. So that’s what I did. It’s what any kitty with half a brain (and trust me after this ordeal I feel like I have half a brain. Try paper towels. Boy were they going to hear from me) would do. I was out of there. I was a blur. I faked left, went right and hid under the couch.

As I relaxed (hid) under the couch I thought about my night and then it dawned on me. I never got a taste! All that work. All that paper towel right at my paws and I didn’t even get a piece. I take it back, I don’t have half a brain I am brainless. I can’t believe I fell asleep. If I was smart I would run in there grab one and run away. Ok I may be brainless but I’m not stupid.

Well tomorrow is another day. I will talk to you all later, I have some friends to “thanks” for their wonderful suggestion.

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